Thursday, April 7, 2011

2 girls is great; 2 boys, 2 girls, not so much....

For a while now I've been insisting that my kids aren't like yours, and that for some reason that escapes me, my situation is different. My children have a unique ability to drive me over the edge - not that any one of them in particular is bad, but the four of them combined are a strange and terrible thing. While Matt was home recovering from his knee surgery two plus weeks ago, he was resting on the couch & the older 3 were at school -we were talking about how nice it was to have 4 kids, and how we couldn't imagine life being any other way - yes it's crazy, but there are also a lot of good things associated with it. By 4:30 pm he was ready to take back everything nice he'd said earlier in the day. It's hard when the parents are outnumbered by the children, especially when half the parents are out of the house or incapacitated.

So today I bribed Sarah and Jason into coming to Kohls with me for some spring shopping - we're headed to visit Matt's family over spring break and no one has decent clothes for warm weather that fits - by taking them to Chik-fil-a  for lunch. This worked because they are always pestering me to go there so they can play in the nasty-icky-sticky playground. Anywho- while they played I sat and surfed the news, and ran across this article about how the key to a happy family is to have two daughters! Intrigued, I followed the headline and read the article. Imagine my dismay when, at the end, I ran across this list, ranked in the order of family happiness, from most to least:

1. Two girls
2. One boy and one girl
3. Two boys
4. Three girls
5. Three boys
6. Four boys
7. Two girls and one boy
8. Two boys and one girl
9. Three boys and one girl
10. Three girls and one boy
11. Two boys and two girls
12. Four girls

Well - there you have it, in black and white. It's not us, IT'S THEM! Or maybe it is me? I'm the one who insisted, after having Evie and William, that we have just one more! If I'd stuck to just two kids, I'd be almost as happy as people who have two girls! By having Sarah, we jumped down to NUMBER 7 on the list. And Jason apparently just did us in, even though I swear he's the best one of the bunch (sshhhh, don't tell him I said that) , moving us all the way down to number 11. How is it possible that having two boys and two girls is almost TWICE as bad as having FOUR BOYS?  And if you have four or more girls? My condolences. Life must just be awful for you :)

Being a parent is so much more involved than I ever imagined it would be, as Matt and I are discovering more and more as the kids get older. I'm fairly certain that in all my years in school I was never called into the principal's office and yet here I am a parent only a few years into the whole school thing and I'm relieved when it's just the school nurse calling. Yes, PLEASE tell me my kid is only not feeling well and not flooding the bathroom/hitting someone/saying things that aren't nice or politically correct. I'm really beginning to question everything I say and do in front of my kids, the whole nature/nurture thing - yes we are born with certain tendencies, but to what extent can I modify those tendencies in my kids through my own behavior? Lead by example, right? Nowhere is this more apparent to me than in the car when I hear Jason telling me to just GO already, and FAST! (all boy, that one). I am trying to be more aware of the things I say, and also trying to act rather than react. I'll let you know how that goes.

All this to say, life is busy, and it's hard, and we don't even really have any major issues to deal with here - God bless families dealing with health issues, financial issues and such. For now I'm grateful for what we have and will muddle through as best I can. If you come to visit, please ignore the clutter, I'll get to it at some point. Maybe :)


  1. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy we're number 4! Where did you find this article? I need to understand how the heck they came up with the ranking.

  2. I can confirm that having a boy and a girl is a dream!

    I know I'm slightly glad that I can't have anymore if it would mess that up!

    Who makes these lists anyway?

  3. Never ever heard of such a thing...I can't imagine that having 2 boys and 2 girls is worse than 4 boys!!!

    I have to say I'm happiest having an 'only' lol.

  4. An asshole with no children makes this list, Connie.

    While I had a great laugh over this with you on the phone yesterday Jen, as I said in my text, it is a bunch of BS! I happen to know families with many of the listed combinations, and each is happy, or unhappy, in their own way!

    We all are under the false assumption that people, children, spouses, and things are what makes us happy. And when we put our belief in this, I have learned that it is our own expectations that create a great deal of unhappiness in our lives. Not the combination of children we have. (but you are smarter than me, and you know that already)

    You are a wonderful mom, of four of the most fabulous children I have ever met (and that is coming from a mom with her OWN four) but you know the BIG LOVE I have for your family. And they are no different that other typical children. The key to finding happiness as a mom of four? Have a vision for your family. Because vision gives birth to priorities. What you DO screams so loudly to your family, they can not HEAR what you say.

    Just continue to inspire your four, teach and tell them the great story of life with your actions, and write this down and read it every morning...
    "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them"

    and I have already visited. I saw no clutter.
    well, except for the broken bug toy on the kitchen counter.


  5. Well Crap, I'm #8 on the list!!!!!!! That makes all the sense in the world why I am so UNHAPPY!

    Seriously? What a load of pooh.

    Your happiness is dependent on you and how you react to the situation/circumstances you are in - NOT because of the situation you are in.


  6. What the...?
    I wanna know who took that poll. Supposedly 2 boys is number 3...I dunno!

  7. Ok so I have 3 girls right now & right now at ages 1,3 & 5 life is not sunshine & roses. I also cannot begin to believe that when they are 10,12 & 14 it will be all that great. Puberty... I'll be moving out thank you very much! Also, I want one more so basically if I have a girl I am TOTALLY screwed. Well, I for sure will not be showing the hubs this list otherwise he will never say yes to another LOL.

  8. As the mother of 4 boys (aka my life sucks #6) I don't know what to tell you. All I can tell you is that we will have a 72 hour break in May.
    Hang in there baby!

  9. Read yours by chance. Interesting indeed. I've thought 4 was the best - doesn't matter what the combination is. I have 3 (2 boys n 1 girl). It's a mad house with 3 boys (the dad included). Pity my girl-no one to doll up..

  10. I'm gonna say that the author of that article is a dumbass who smokes way too much crack!

    According to his list I am amongst the happiest of Mothers.


    Five of my very best girl friends, myself included, have 2 girls each. We are an estrogen bomb just waiting to explode at any given moment!

    We are all crazy. We all mess up! We all wish we had a rewind button. Anyone who says anything different is a dumbass who smokes too much crack just like the author!

    Keep doing what you're doing. Own up to your mistakes and say you're sorry when you're wrong.
    And hold on to the fact that in just 4 more weeks we'll be having a drink together along with 5 other Moms who are messing up their kids too!


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