Monday, November 22, 2010

3 weddings and 2 doodles

Matt and I were invited to 3 weddings this fall. A rarity, in that most of our friends and all of our family are married - I think the last wedding we went to was 9 years ago when I was pregnant with Evie - it seems like almost another life. We only actually made it to two weddings and one reception, despite our best intentions - one was the day before our cruise, and one, this Saturday, we missed because I caught the stomach bug going around our area - instead of having a date with my hubby, I spent the day on the couch watching Discs 3 through 5 of GLEE's first season. But that's life, right? Just like marriage, stuff happens. Anyway.

Within a span of 7 weeks, 3 couples we knew got married. The first was a DC wedding at the National Cathedral with a reception at the Women's National Democratic Club - the groom, a co-worker of Matt's was getting married after divorce and brought 2 teenage girls into the mix.
The second was our kids' piano teacher, a lovely 21 year old who married her sweetheart under the local park's gazebo on a sunny, windy October day. No pictures, because I stink and forgot my camera.
The third was this past Saturday - my friend, after many years of searching, had found and married his sweetheart and I am so sad we missed it.
3 different couples coming from 3 different places, all taking the step to say 'I do' in front of friends and family, exchanging rings and pledging 'until we are parted by death'. I was struck, listening to the service in the underground chapel at the cathedral, by what all those words and promises really mean. If you haven't been through it before, you don't really know what you're getting yourself into - surely all first-time brides and grooms are coming into this thing with an idealized view of what their life will be like. I applaud those who, for whatever ever reason weren't successful the first go-around, have the courage to stand up and go for it a second time.

Our hands, back when we were young

You start out your marriage with two bright and shiny rings - a circle, unending, representing your love and unity. Time passes and with wear and tear some of that luster is lost - and you have to think back to remember what it was like when everything was new. But is it worth less? Or do those scratches and dings and dull spots have value?

A while ago I thought about having my wedding band polished, but I decided against it. My ring reflects the passage of time since the day Matt put it on my finger, and I've come to appreciate the fact that it's not as bright as the day it was made. We've earned those 13 years of wear and tear, and I'm proud of them. I'll be happy if I can go to my grave with that ring still on my finger, worn down to a sliver.
I wish our 3 couples the very best for the future & hope that they live long and happy lives together. If I could give any of them advice, it would be DON'T SPEND A LOT ON A WEDDING - oops, too late for that - and TALK to each other. No one can read minds, don't pretend that you can. If you can't talk, you're doomed to fail. And that's all the marriage advice you'll get from Harried Mom.
Wish the lighting were better, I love the look on his face :)

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In correlation with the elections earlier this month, our schools talked about the democratic process and such. Evie was very disappointed that she wasn't elected class something-or-other, and I found this gem in William's backpack:

He'd like your vote because he will share, and also turn the lights off. William, you've got MY vote!

Evie brought this masterpiece home from church today - what is it with my kids and the doodling on the pew envelopes??

That's all I've got, as we head into Thanksgiving and the pre-Christmas craze, please remember to be thankful for what you have! You never know how long you have it for :)

10 comments:

  1. I wish all politicians would remember to share and turn off the lights. Our world would be a much better place if they did. Great post about weddings, my Other Half has promised me another wedding for our 25th or at least a great big party minus the church and puffy white dress. Hope you're feeling better.

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  2. I love your feelings on not having your ring polished. You should see mine - almost 25 years now. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

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  3. GIRL. That church, the first one. I would be intimidated getting married at that big 'ol thing! LOL
    And, LOVE that picture of Matt. You need to put that one in your wallet. :)

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  4. I doodle on everything. I especially like the Jewish star Evie drew at church.

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  5. Aww! According to that pew envelope, poor William smells bad!

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  6. Turning off lights and sharing are such a WIN for me! I'd vote for him! :)

    Great advice from Harried Mom. Talking/communicating is probably the one most important thing to a lasting marriage.

    Beautiful pics!

    Hope you're having a great Monday!♥

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  7. A vote for William is a vote for lower electric bills!

    I used to doodle on the church envelopes too!

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  8. Agree! On all counts - being thankful for what you have right now, for recognizing that good and strong marriages require communication, and for not polishing the ring - those scratches and dings are earned, and for applauding those who try again. It can and does happen.

    Go, you!

    And Happy Thanksgiving. So grateful to have found you in blogland.

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  9. That church is AHHH-MAZ-ING! I love love, I would attend a wedding every weekend if I could.... although who has the money & time for that anyways! The pic of your hubby is really good, he is a handsome man. The one of you two together is really cute too!
    THe kids drawings on pew envelopes totally cracks me up. I used to do that as a kid too!

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  10. I love your take on relationships and wedding rings. Good advice. (Do you think they'll listen?)

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