Hellooooo 2012.

10:36 pm. Matt headed up to bed 45 minutes ago. William passed out in bed after his shower by 8pm, and was asleep when we tucked the little ones in. Evie was in bed reading by 7:45 - The Hunger Games - I finally gave in and let her start it. A quiet, uneventful end to winter break - much needed, after too many late nights and fun times! We rang in the New Year with my family in Pennsylvania - I'll never forget seeing Jason, as I raced up the stairs at my sister's house to grab some champagne, standing in his pjs in her kitchen, looking down at his little plastic flute full of sparkling grape juice - up way too late, at a noisy party, and someone stuffs a bubbly drink in his hand - he wanted nothing to do with it! - I SO wish I had a picture of that :(

So 2012 is here, and with it my desire to shovel all the clutter and crap out the front door and start with a clean slate. Am I the only one? I love Christmas and all the trimmings, and the celebration of it all, but by the time January rolls around I'm ready to clean house and shove the kids out the door back to school. And somehow the glitter flats I started making - which I'd hoped to wear New Years Eve but didn't finish in time - seem overdone in the stark light of a cold January day. Maybe I'll drag Matt out somewhere this weekend so I can wear them :)

Possibly one of the least flattering pictures of me, but I do love me a Little Buddy :)

So while driving this weekend, in order to tune out The Polar Express along with cries of Mom! William's something or other!, Matt and I came up with a tentative plan of the coming months - if all goes well, this will be the Year We Deal With The Kitchen. I'll talk about this in more detail later, but let's just say the builder grade thermofoil (ie: crappy plastic heat-bonded to sawdust, basically) cabinets in our 10x11 kitchen are at the end of their road. They were fine when we moved in, but time hasn't been kind to them (is it kind to anything?) and we're ready to deal with it. I'll be requesting prayers for my sanity in a few months once we get started :)

Of course, dealing with the kitchen will involve 1) moving out of the main level of the house to sand the floors and 2) painting every surface on said main level of the house. I can feel my hand going numb from painting already.

My dad - I think Evie took this one :)

This will also be The Year I Do Better. Because I can. I'm really a selfish beast by nature, but my children and my husband deserve better of me. I deserve better of me too. Some small examples - junky cereals will be for vacations, not everyday, no matter how much they plead at the store; desserts will be for the weekend, not after every meal; screen time will be limited, and Fun Time With Jen will happen more often than not! And damnit, WE WILL HAVE FUN :) I really wish my kids were more malleable and less like trying to stuff cats in a bag, but we will get through this, one way or the other. I'm going to be more present in all of their lives, and less the chauffeur and housekeeper who's distracted by her iPhone. (That said - I am GOING to be better about getting this all written down here, because it's the only place I write anything other than on a sticky note that gets thrown away!)

Another Evie photo, my sister and her daughter :)

We're going to travel - me to visit friends in CA, Matt to visit his family in LA, all of us to the beach this summer and hopefully some shorter trips along the way - and go camping, and ski and swim and play, and hopefully enjoy the ride this year. It's getting easier, because sadly (?) my babies are no longer babies - but they sure do look cute when they're sleeping :)

Happy New Year.

Ready - and - GO.