Thursday, September 2, 2010

Mom Thoughts, My Beauty, and Boredom

Sarah started preschool this week! Can someone please explain to me where the heck the last four years went? I'm beginning to feel like I've been on a roller coaster chugging up the first big hill and I can see the top from where I'm sitting but I'm not quite there yet and once I reach the top the car is going over and-------before I know it my kids will be grown and out of the house and I'll be sitting here wondering where they went and how that happened in the blink of an eye because surely I can't be 60 already and my kids are all big and grown....(is that how it happens?) Up until about 1:30 pm (nap time!) each day feels REALLY REALLY long and then 1:30 rolls around and then suddenly it's nap/bus/snack/activities/dinner/clean up/kids in bed/me and-or Matt time/go to bed way to late only to get up and do it all over again? I am suddenly afraid of waking up tomorrow and it all being over already! Phew.
We're a week into school for the big two and Sarah began preschool on Tuesday. I have to say, I'm yelling a lot less. At least while they're gone and it's just me and Jason. Which makes me wonder lots of things - did we have too many kids? (Why did we have more than one???) Am I really suited to the SAHM thing? (I really like the SAH part, it's the M I struggle with) I wonder how each of them will turn out, are they getting enough attention individually from us? Will this all blow up in our face when they become teenagers? God help us.
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Speaking of Sarah, my Beauty turns 4 in almost a month. While E&W were having their piano lessons, I took Sarah to the library in town, just the two of us - I cannot believe how big she's gotten, it really feels like her babyhood has just sort of blended with Jason's, which I guess it really has - and I asked her on the way what she might like to have for her birthday. Given that we'd just celebrated William's, I was expecting something different from her response: Sarah would like love and a kiss for her birthday. And a hug. And she would like us all to have a zhu zhu pet of our own, and she would like a tiny toy house. Like as-big-as-her-hand tiny. Sarah would also like to have cheesecake for her birthday (a girl after Mommy's heart!) Her answers made my heart sing, and gave me a brief sense that maybe things will turn out alright after all.
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So I've spent the last 1-1/2 hours playing around with my blog because I'm bored with it. I think. Maybe. And really - it's not like I have anything better to do!(Pay no attention to the fact that you can't even SEE my dining room table with all the stuff piled on it, I haven't put last year's school papers away yet, or that the cross-stitch I bought when Jason was born almost 3.years.ago. is sitting in a bag, barely started, awaiting my attention. And my 'craft' table is covered in mending and half-finished crap. I guess I'm putting all that off because they feel like chores, whereas the blog is all about ME! Me me me me me me me me :) Or rather, it's about me AND them, but I'm the one that gets the feedback and gratification that maybe someone relates to the guts I spill here and either can empathize or laugh. Anyway. I'm trying some things, messing around with layouts, looking for a new 'me' on the blog. And of course, I want to do it myself - because obviously, I have nothing better to do, right? Yeah, I didn't think so either. This might take a while. In the meantime, if you have any opinions about ads, number of columns, size of pictures (is bigger better? do you just click the pic if you want more detail?) or anything else you'd like to see/don't want to see anymore feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. Thanks!

Harried Mom OUT :)

16 comments:

  1. Your little Sarah is a doll, how cute does she look in that dress! Oh my gosh and how sweet is she for wanting everyone to have a Zhu Zhu. I think you are most defnitely raising quite the young lady :)

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  2. Oh Momma! How can you even question if you are doing a good job raising them when you get sweet answers from S like that!

    ~Becca

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  3. She is a sweetie. You are so real and funny. I used to tell my hubby that I would love to be a SAHM when all the kids were in school! But, now that they will all be in school this year, I am having baby fever again! What the heck? And, of course you're meant to have all these kids...even if you can't give them enough of your time, they give each other time. It's a beautiful chaotic life :)

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  4. I've had so many thoughts to share run through my mind..somehow they all seem cliche. So I'll go with this: they do grow up FAST, but the grown-up version is wonderful too!

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  5. Your blog looks great!

    I felt the same way this week. Ella started kindergarten and I just can't believe it. The time is speeding up each day. My oldest is 16 and a junior!!! How did that happen?? These past 10 years have gone by in a bink of an eye.

    I guess we just enjoy it and try to make the great moments last. You will be so glad you did this blog because it is making you write down things that otherwise might have been lost.

    xoxo
    Jen

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  6. You are doing an awesome job! I know that I couldn't handle 4 kids but you are doing so well. I'm sure it's really challenging!

    I like my ads...especially when people click on them!

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  7. I have a link for you.
    It will make you cry.

    My sister called me crying..her daughter is off to college. And I am jealous. I am sure this will bite me in the ass in years to come, and SAHM's everywhere are de-friending me on FB and removing themselves from my followers on my blog as I write this....BUT.....

    I can not wait until the kids are grown up.
    I know I will regret saying this.
    But right now?
    If I could send Luke to boarding school I would.
    But go figure. I could only find a pre k that does three mornings. No boarding.

    Now let's talk about things way more interesting than our kids...your blog.

    Yes, bigger is better (and yes, I am still talking about your blog) but ONLY....if your pictures are good. Or artistic. Or creative. No need to see a giant picture of something stupid, right? Think about what you would blow up and hang on your wall...

    and I think it's time to go seasonal. I dont know how women find the time to change up the look with each change, but if you can pull it off,fantastic.

    Ya know what? Im just going to call or text you...this is way too long...and the hamster cage smells...

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  8. grab some coffee, ignore your kids, and read this:

    http://annamariahorner.blogspot.com/2010/08/bridge.html

    quite possibly the best blog post I have ever read. ANd I have read MANY.

    warning...you WILL cry
    and won't yell at your kids for at least tonight...

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  9. Awww she's simply adorable Jenn...love that dress, did you make it?

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  10. She is adorable!!! I love the dress. LOVE. :)

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  11. They do grow up in a blink f an eye....mine is driving!

    Savor every last grey hair, voice raising, vein bulging moment!

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  12. She is just the cutest, sweetest thing ever!

    Maybe I should've asked for love and hug and kiss for my birthday too.
    But at least I got champagne cake!

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  13. I worry and fret about the same things as you. So I totally relate (even the part about indulging in our blogs)

    I wonder what we will blog about when our youngest is at school???

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  14. You have me laughing my eh-em off. I love the pic of the lil one on top of the slide with a bucket on his head. classic. And your quote, "I really like the SAH part, it's the M I struggle with!"

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  15. Sarah is as sweet as she is beautiful! I audibly said "awww!" when I read that.
    And yes, it does happen that fast. I turned around last month to discover that my baby was 18. We all feel that wake up, work, go to sleep cycle sometimes.
    And I need to do something about my blog too...

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  16. I'm doing the same thing...changing up the blog. I'm trying to decide what "look" I'm going for. It's so hard to make decisions sometimes, or it is for me at least.

    Sarah is precious! I think you're doing a great job at this mom business. We all question our capabilities from time to time. It's part of being a mom.

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